One Small Voice. A Lot of Big Ideas. Let Freedom Ring!

Deer-Hit Autos & Other Fancy Turns of Phrase. (from Small Town Tales)

I like to read our local, weekly paper. It contains a “Personal Intelligence” column that informs readers that Sally Nickels had a visit from her granddaughter who goes to the big University and Dan Perkins competed in a half-marathon. It gives the same attention to minutia as it does to breaking news. And it gives every child the opportunity to get their picture in the paper at some point during their childhood. All you have to do is dress up real cute at Halloween, play a high school sport, be crowned homecoming queen or shoot any size buck or doe.

Any female who’s lived here long enough to get married or used to live here  growing up always gets her full name printed in the paper: first, maiden, married. It doesn’t matter if she’s a newlywed or has been married 50 years. I asked the editor about that when he wanted to print my “full” name on a byline. I told him it looked funny to me since I haven’t used my maiden name for a very long time. He said ,”Awww, pleaze!  People  here like that.” I shrugged. I guess he knows his readers want to know exactly who they’re reading about or who’s really behind the article. Could be some history there.

The thing I find most fascinating about our local paper is the advertising. I always learn something new. And often what I learn is a new word or turn of phrase.

Here are two ads from this week’s paper. I recreated these verbatim, changing proper names to protect the guilty.

 Gee, I’ve only got 2 1/2 months to get my car deer-hit so I can enter the drawing for a new shotgun. Unfortunately, that isn’t too hard to do around here. I’ve had three deer-hit autos, already. Granted, the last one was 12 years ago but my chances of being deer-hit look pretty good this year since I’ve already had a couple of does cross my path.

And then there are the political ads. We’ve got a highly contested three-way race for County Commonwealth Attorney.

Dog Attack Video

See chopperface at Top cop candidate Wes Burgess instigates, launches

personal castigation to bit victim in Perryville Fas Mart, still has not seen the video or

crime scene statements. Please elect us a commonwealth’s attorney that will not recoil

from viewing evidence like you’re holding an alligator.

I have not made up my mind about our local commonwealth’s attorney race.  So I certainly plan to visit this website and see what the fuss is about. I don’t want a top cop that has the nerve to launch a personal castigation without knowing all the facts.

16 comments on “Deer-Hit Autos & Other Fancy Turns of Phrase. (from Small Town Tales)

  1. Saraspondence
    November 3, 2012

    Looks to me, like Top Cop needs to ride his bike down chopperface’s road without police escort… Love your post!

    • Freedom, by the way
      November 3, 2012

      LOL. What’s also funny is that I couldn’t find the video at all. Now who would bother to pay for an ad and not make sure the web address they want you to see is actually functioning? Shakin’ my head.

  2. AFVET
    November 3, 2012

    Funny !
    We have a guy running for Sheriff here whose last name is Lawless.
    Hmmm, what are the chances ?
    At least you have to give the guy credit for trying. ;)

    • Freedom, by the way
      November 3, 2012

      I’m liking it! If he was a good candidate in other ways I would vote for him just because his name is Lawless. It would make me smile everytime I saw his name in the paper, “Sheriff Lawless”. And goodness knows, we all could use more reasons to smile.

      • AFVET
        November 4, 2012

        You are right.
        Sheriff Lawless could scare the hell out of the crooks.
        Kinda like Tombstone. ;)

  3. deadeyescribe
    November 3, 2012

    Hahahaha, Freedom! I’ll reblog this tomorrow. But for the big word, I’d swear it was all right out of Deadeye Kansas. The word is awesome. And deer-hit autos…like you, I deserve a shot to win the prize for sure.

    • Freedom, by the way
      November 3, 2012

      A re-blog from the scribe! I will be famous, for sure. Come on over to my neck of the woods and drive the roads at night. It’s black powder season now but the deer will really be running in a few weeks when shotgun season starts. Then there will be a lot of deer-hit autos and auto-hit deer.

      • deadeyescribe
        November 3, 2012

        Here in Deadeye too. Makes for an interesting Thanksgiving when the hunters won’t come in for a sit-down meal. Priorities. ;-)

        • neenergyobserver
          November 5, 2012

          And here as well, just wait for rifle season. And don’t forget, at least on this piece of the prairie, getting hit by a deer is just like any other accident, you have to stop and call the police (the deer probably won’t, but you have to) or you’ll get charged with leaving the scene for your trouble. (And somebody else will get the sometimes OK venison.)

          • Freedom, by the way
            November 5, 2012

            Ooh. I better check and see if the laws have changed here. Last time I was hit, deer accidents were considered comprehensive not collision and you didn’t have to call the poice. I mean really? It’s your word against a deer’s. How does THAT work?

          • neenergyobserver
            November 5, 2012

            Not well, the insurance company doesn’t care, it’s still comprehensive. I suspect it had something originally to do with telling NDR to pick up the carcass. By rights, it should always be the deer’s fault, never had one hit me yet that had insurance so ipso facto in Nebraska, it’s their fault, but they never pay. (Kind of like illegal immigrants, come to think of it.)

  4. deadeyescribe
    November 6, 2012

    Reblogged this on deadeyescribe and commented:
    As I remember, blogger freedombytheway and I met long ago when she stumbled on one of my more scientific posts, “Recreating the Mammoth – Is It Wise?” She’s a fabulous writer (and poet). I’m honored to reblog her post on deer-hit autos, nee names, and castigation.

  5. deadeyescribe
    November 10, 2012

    Hello Freedom. Just wanted to let you know I was responding to your comment on my last post when I learned of a bad accident involving friends. I took the post down as humor has left me for this day. One friend is a U.S. Marine who served our country in Vietnam. Thoughts and prayers for their strength and recovery are appreciated. Thank you.

    • Freedom, by the way
      November 10, 2012

      Oh, Simone. I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with them and with you. Take care.

  6. Tanvi
    November 13, 2012

    Very nice. I’m getting eager for the seoasn to start. I’ve been seeing several young velvet bucks on my game cams recently, but still haven’t seen that shooter. Will check my cams again this weekend and hope for a nice surprise!Thanks and good luck.Posted by: Deer Tracking Cameras

  7. Darrance
    November 13, 2012

    Whoever wrote this, you know how to make a good airtcle.

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This entry was posted on November 3, 2012 by in Humor, Small Town Tales, writing and tagged , , , , , .

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